iloveyou. ♥

The day I met you. Kinda.

One year ago, on my grad photo day, was the day I saw him again. It first time we talked, in couple years. Today is now his grad photo day. And it brought back so many memoriess. since it is also exam week for me, I’m volunteering at the school, in his class. First, when I saw him, he gave me the weirdest look. Like I was an alien because I was back at the school. Second, after being there, I thought that we might talk again, be friends again. But… No. You still won’t talk to me. Today is my last day here. I hope we can finally end on a good note.

Talking to me noww?

he is finally talking to me again. it started off as just a random comment on a photo.

to him, it might just be a funny, random comment. just for fun.

but for me… it meant that he was finally talking to me again! after like 2 months of silence, he broke the ice.

so now im sitting here, hugging my pillow, typing on my laptop here, waiting… to see where this neww…. relationship, ill call it, leads.

:)

Never Meant To Be Lyrics

“Do you know what it’s doing to me

To know how wrong I was about you

Hurts to know how easy you let it all go

But yesterday, I was everything to you

Now I tell myself that I’m okay

Isn’t how you’re feeling too

But I can’t forget all the love we shared

Cause the things you do, tell me you don’t care

So is this the way that our story ends

Girl(Boy) I don’t know what to do this song was never meant to be about you

Flipping through all the photos that we took together

And It kills me everytime I make myself remember

Don’t worry I’m so use to it now, when everything I do reminds me of you

And I can’t breathe, when I see how happy we were don’t you miss how that feels

I can’t believe that I wasted so much love on you

But I can’t forget, all the love we shared

Cause the things you do tell me you don’t care

So is this the way that our story ends

Girl(boy) I don’t know what to do

This song was ever meant to be about you.”

This song explains everything i feel towards him.

And everytime i listen to this song, i want to cry. 50% of the time i do cry.

Because he is on my mind.

Video memories.

I was going through my videos in my laptop today. I found a video my best friend took one time when we ( me, her, my ex, his friends) were hanging out. Then it got to a part when he came over, and wrapped his arms around me. I had mixed emotions. I was upset, that this was all over; I missed all the times he would do that; I started to cry; and much more.
I miss you so much.
Y can’t I get you back?

I’m writing a song about you.

I was just lying in my bed and these words just popped into my head! Idk y, but I took them, wrote them down, and now i am officially writing a song about you.

Ahhhhh!!!! Wait…

He liked AND commented on my wall post (“I like how ur funny and caring. Also how you used to always make me smile.”) he said:
“I miss those times”
So I wrote:
“:) mee too.”
And he wrote:
“:)”

I started freaking out!!!!!!! Was my fantasy dreaming of him liking me again coming true? I couldn’t stop smiling!!
Then… I realized. He probably wrote that cuz maybe he does miss those times, but it doesn’t mean anything.
(sighh)

So much more.

So on fb, I did one of those “like this and I’ll tell u something i like about u.” I basically did that cuz I was boredd. Then, while I was going down the list of names of ppl who liked it, I saw his name. I was shocked! Wat I wrote was “I like how u r funny and caring. Also how u used to always make me smile.”
That’s how I feel, but there’s moree. If I could have, I would’ve wrote this:
“I like how u r funny, charming, sweet, and caring. I like how you hold me in your arms, kiss me, hold my hand and tell me that you love me. I like how you can make me laugh whenever, and make me smile at the sight of you. I like how you would kiss me hello, and goodbye. I like how your smile stops my heart beat, how you are always on my mind, how when u walk into the room I get nervous. Most of all, I like how you make me the happiest girl in the world.”

But obviously I couldnt. :/

Sigh of relief.

Today is your birthday. (Happy b-day! <3)

As i wouldve done for anyone else, i went on your fb wall and wished you a HBD.

Then (and once again, idk y i did this). i went to your info and saw that you were single. Then i let out a sigh of relief, i didn’t even know i was holding my breath!

(For the record, i only went on his wall to wish him a HBD. that’s wat friends do. I wont go on his wall anymore.)